Do Vacations Work?
What a loaded question. Let’s (in true therapist fashion) just restate and digest those three words more slowly:
Do…. Vacations…. Work….?
We put great stock in our vacations. As we review the end of the summer many folk discuss their recent trips: the food, the beaches, the architecture, the pace of life and so on. But did we stop to ask ourselves when planning these trips what we really wanted from our precious time off? And do we find ourselves looking forward to our time off as an additive experience, or are we just desperate to escape our day-to-day reality?
People go on vacations for all sorts of reasons. To eat well, to absorb culture or nature, to self-improve, to rest, to party, or to spend time with family. And many of us will want to have some combination of all those things in the same trip. If planning as a couple or a family, you may be balancing all sorts of conflicting priorities. Likely if you’re in a couple there is one person that usually takes the initiative and the other person that goes with the flow a little more. Are you both getting your priorities met from this trip? Take some time to think about what will really make you feel satisfied with this time away. It might be simpler, and more value driven than you realize. Is the most important thing to see a certain sight or be on a certain beach, or are you just craving some time and space to be more connected with your loved ones? This may simplify your choices.
Research shows that anticipation of vacation can be as, if not more enjoyable than a vacation itself. The planning process and that feeling of having something to look forward to on the horizon can create a boost of happiness lasting for weeks. Lean into this. Maybe if you’re the partner who takes a back seat in vacation planning you could get more involved and share this anticipation and enjoyment with your partner.
A vacation is a break from your day to day. It can be a welcome relief from stress and a chance to unwind. But it’s not a cure for burnout, or a remedy for your mental health. If you feel desperate for a vacation simply to escape a toxic work environment for a week or two it may be a mistake to put too much stock in a vacation as a relief. You may get some respite but then feel even more overwhelmed as you anticipate returning.
If you want your vacation to work take some time to examine your values and priorities, what will make me feel energized? Lean into and enjoy the planning and anticipation. And realize that a vacation ideally is an augment to your well-being, not an escape from your reality.
