Why TikTok is Not a Replacement for Therapy
After the brief inability to use TikTok last week, many people found themselves at a loss for how to pass the time. This event was spoken about even more than TikTok is usually spoken about in my office. There are many people on the app using therapy speak or diagnosing others that are not therapists. (By the way, I have never as a therapist used the words “avoidant attachment” or “gaslighting” in a session). And people talking about these topics on the app isn’t inherently bad. But when TikTok is used as therapy rather than a tool, it can become problematic, or even damaging.
Therapy is all about nuance. Most people that I see in my office (and so many of us in general!) struggle with black and white thinking. This is when absolutes or certainty feel safe; right and wrong, true or false, fair or unfair. Therapy teaches us to hold conflicting and often opposing views simultaneously. For example, I can be mad at my partner and still love them. Someone could have had an extremely traumatic childhood, but still have some fond memories of their caregivers. TikTok encourages black and white thinking because it loves defining people into categories as far as their personality disorder diagnosis or their attachment styles. Although this information can be helpful to understand what is out there in terms of how to conceptualize these ideas, the curiosity about how and why we identify with these labels usually ends there. It’s information, and information and knowledge are not the same as healing. You cannot think your way out of your feelings!
Another concern about social media in general, is that sometimes, by scrolling for hours, we are avoiding unwanted feelings. But this approach, although immediately dopamine-inducing and a welcome distraction, is an isolating endeavor, especially if you suffer from anxiety, depression, or addiction. Limit the time you spend on social media, and if you’re starting or are currently in therapy, discuss it with your therapist and be curious together about what you might be avoiding.
At West Therapy Group, we believe you are more than your diagnosis or your suspected attachment style. Your relationship with your therapist is often a microcosm of how you relate to others in your life. It’s a co-created dynamic, unlike the algorithm that shows you more content based on your choices, rather than who you are as a person. If you’re as curious about who you are besides who you appear to be on TikTok, book a free consultation today.
