What Stops Men From Seeking Therapy?
Men are significantly less likely than women to seek therapy. This gap in mental health care is well documented, yet what I observe in practice is that often when men do start therapy it can be highly engaging, effective, and rewarding.
Many men report improvements in emotional regulation, communication, and intimate relationships. Therapy is even beginning to carry cultural cachet — increasingly described as a “green flag” in dating and relationships.
If therapy for men can work so well, why do so many men hesitate to begin? Here are some common barriers.
“I’m managing okay on my own.”
Many men are capable, resilient, and self-reliant. They can push through stress, maintain work performance, and keep relationships functional. But therapy invites a deeper question: Is managing the same as thriving?
Therapy isn’t only for moments of crisis. It offers a space to examine areas of life where you may be coping but not fulfilled — emotionally disconnected relationships, persistent irritability, or a sense that life feels flat or overly effortful.
For many men, therapy becomes less about fixing problems and more about understanding themselves, clarifying values, and building a life that feels meaningful rather than merely sustainable.
“Problems should be solved, not talked about.”
Many men are socialized to prioritize action over reflection. Value is placed on fixing, doing, and achieving. From that perspective, talking about emotions can feel uncomfortable, inefficient, or unnecessary. Lifestyle changes — exercising more, changing jobs, working harder — often feel like more practical solutions. And sometimes they are important. But without reflection, action alone can repeat the same patterns.
Therapy doesn’t replace problem-solving; it enhances it. Understanding emotional triggers, relationship dynamics, and internal pressures often leads to more effective decisions and longer-lasting change.
“I can’t find a therapist I relate to.”
Roughly 70–80% of therapists are women, and some men prefer working with a male therapist. While men are underrepresented in the field, there are many skilled male therapists available. More importantly, therapeutic fit matters more than demographics alone. Finding the right therapist is a personal process, and it’s normal to speak with more than one before deciding. Most therapists offer free consultations and expect prospective clients to shop around.
“Therapy is too expensive.”
Cost is a real barrier. Quality, in-person therapy is an investment. One helpful comparison is to think of therapy like a vacation: many people spend significant money each year to escape stress or reset.
Weekly therapy over a year may cost a similar amount, but its benefits can be more enduring — improved mental health, stronger relationships, and a reduced need to escape daily life in the first place.
For those with PPO insurance plans, 50–80% reimbursement may be available once deductibles are met. Checking your benefits can clarify what therapy might realistically cost.
Taking the first step toward therapy
For many men, the hardest part of therapy is starting. Curiosity mixed with uncertainty is normal. A free introductory consultation can help you explore whether therapy feels like a good fit — without pressure or commitment. If you’re interested in working in person in Greenpoint, you can book a consultation here.
